Mud Review

The new Matthew McConaughey venue has some issues, the first half of the movie is very strange because Mr. McConaughey has his shirt on all the time. Not only that but he refers to his shirt in numerous occasions saying it is the only thing that protects him.

This is very alarming, because it hints at the fact that if he does shed it, he will be unprotected and nobody wants that. He goes on to repeat the same phrase about the shirt protecting him not once, but twice, or maybe even thrice, I’m not sure, I was so nervous about this that I couldn’t concentrate, having to stare at the abomination that is Mr. McConaughey with a shirt on, in fact I was thinking someone was going to get sued because I’m sure this guy has a clause in every movie contract that states, unequivocally, that the shirt must come off at some point.

The less savvy viewers will no doubt fret and fidget and even toy with the idea of leaving the theater (for the three of you who still watch these movies in a theater) or turning off the movie and watching the latest, spell-binding episode of Big Brother instead, convinced that hell has frozen over and that Mr. McConaughey will, for the first time in history, not take his shirt off in a movie.

But fret not, I’m here to tell you that everything is right with the world, hell has not frozen over yet, Mr. McConaughey does indeed take off his shirt about halfway through the film, phew!

I believe his regular allusions to his shirt are the filmmakers canny way of letting us know not to worry, that they know the shirt has to come off but that we have to wait a little bit, kinda like those announcements in the subway: “we are aware of the problem and are taking measures to resolve it, do not panic.”

So in the end the movie is salvaged by Mr. McConaughey’s heroic action of removing the offending garment.

Long live Hollywood.

PS

I was toying with the idea of creating a chart of how long it takes Mr. McConaughey to remove his shirt in his movies but I’m sure someone on the internet has already done that.